Tuesday, July 29, 2014

An Open Letter To Karma

Dear Karma,

I’m not sure what I did earlier in this life or in one of my past lives to piss you off, but you suck. Every time I think I’m starting to make a little progress (and I’m not even hoping for ‘getting ahead of the game’ status), you come along and kick the ladder out from under me. And that ladder is perched over a tall, scary cliff that ends in a pool of hungry crocodiles and (wo)man eating swamp rats. All surrounded by poison ivy and crazy, navigationally challenged fruit bats. This is your equivalent to the nine levels of hell with a Disney twist, isn’t it?

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Pole Dancing & Writing Advice

I got a little jealous watching all these asshole awesome bloggers doing guest posts on other asshole awesome blogs. So, I stalked my favorite blogger, showed him a couple of pictures I took of him and an innocent goat behind closed doors and threatened to show them to his momma. He was suddenly VERY interested in having me quest post.

So, I pooped out a mediocre post about my favorite subject: shitty bloggers that don't know their anal opening from a whole in the ground and shoved it in MJ's thong. He obediently posted it on his blog and is currently cowering in the corner until I put away the whip and handcuffs.

If you're interested in reading it, follow this little linky-poo thing and get your rocks off. Don't forget to leave a comment. I promise I'll respond, but I can't guarantee it won't hurt.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Ten Things to Avoid When Flying

I want to welcome a very special guest blogger to Asshat Rants. She's been MIA for awhile. I heard rumors of a covert ops somewhere in an undisclosed location. Thankfully, she made it back in one or more pieces and is back to writing. To celebrate, she's doing a blog tour. And we're lucky enough to be destination B on her way to CrazyVille. Please welcome the non-sparkly Starr Bryson! [Cue applause sign]

Recently, I went home to Tucson to be with my Dad when his health was failing, as well as spend time with my family and friends.  I work from home and the Tinys were with their father, so I was able to spend three weeks back home. 

Those stories are for another day. 

Tucson is approximately 2200 miles from where I live in Pittsburgh.  I made that drive twice in the last year.  Again, stories for another day.  I didn’t want to drive it this time, so I flew.

The flight from PA to Arizona went smoothly without a hitch.  The flight back home was the flight from hell, an experience I never wish to live again.  (Except for those two hours in P.F. Chang’s- but that’s also a story for another day.)

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Special Needs = Special Targets; The Bullying No One Talks About

Some of my long time readers may know that I am a parent to a special needs kid. My son is a happy, healthy, very active, 7 year old ‘all boy’ kinda kid. He is also non-verbal and on the autism spectrum. Because he’s non-verbal, some people like to take advantage of it, thinking he can’t tell on them if they’re mean to him or if he sees them being mean to other kids. WRONG!