Friday, March 28, 2014

Bad Drivers

If you've spent any time at all behind the wheel of a vehicle, I’m sure you’ve run into a bad driver or two. Some of these drivers act like they're the only ones on the planet. Others think because they drive a certain make or model, it automatically entitles them to act like they also bought the rights to the road. Then there are the ones that seem to be deathly afraid to get out of the fast lane while going 10 miles under the posted speed limit. UGH!

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

The Adventures of Crack Whores

It is my wonderful pleasure to have my very first guest post by the funny, mysterious, bug hunting David Stillwell. When I introduced him to my new blog idea, he jumped at the chance to share one of his funny rants. I think you'll agree - Crack Whores are worth ranting about. And laughing at.

The Adventures of Crack Whores
Sacramento, Ca is not just the capital of California it happens to be where I live. I am not sure why I live here, maybe this is just where the truck ran out of gas and I have just never moved on from here. I live in a four unit apartment building on a street that is full of nice, well-to-do white people. You know the sort, happy little families with smiling kids and sidewalk chalk. That is except for the tenants in unit number 2, which happen to be dead beat, white, vampire types who snort lines of coke (not the soda) off of a behind the door Walmart mirror. You know the kind I mean. It is four feet tall and one foot wide.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Bill Collectors

There is nothing I love more than being woken up before the asscrack of dawn by a telephone ringing. Especially when the asshat on the other end of the line is a bill collector. And it’s not even MY bill.

No matter how many times I’ve explained that Maria Consuela Espinoza Hernandez (name changed to protect the deadbeat that is giving out my number knowing they aren’t going to pay their bills in the first place) is not at this number, they still don’t get it. Not even when I repeatedly ask to have my number removed from their call list. Or the times I’ve promised I would hunt them down and shove my phone up their ass so they could enjoy the calls almost as much as I do.